Picking Up the Pieces
by havocmangawip
Summary: I asked for prompts on LJ. It's all up for grabs. The first challenge is Mangaverse genfic, set after 40 in the manga. This focuses on Hawkeye, Mustang and Havoc. "Picking Up the Pieces". I hope to further branch out from Havoc 1st person POV work.


Post-40 Roy Angst for Galux Kitty... as yet untitled.

Her request: "FMA, mangaverse, Roy, post-40, doesn't have to be romantic XD;;"

MANY thanks to Snakecharmerfoxx for helping me bounce ideas around and of course, editing my liberal comma abuse.

Title: Picking Up the Pieces  
Pairings: none, but Roy and Riza are the focus for this ficlet.  
Spoilers: This is post chapter 40 of the manga... so up to about chapter 52 to be sure.  
Rating: PG-13, no language, no sex... but this verse is angsty.  
Disclaimer: I own nothing, well, a dog, a crappy car and a flute. But I don't own these characters

Doctor Knox left the waiting room, his face still grim after our conversation. The Colonel studied the diagram in the textbook that he had been holding and nearly dropped the files on his lap. I caught them before they hit the floor, narrowly avoiding scattering what had become of Havoc's life over the cold linoleum floor. I handed them back to him and said, "Sir, you should get back to the room and sleep. You're not well enough to be up yet."

"How can I sleep when I've let not one, but two of my men die?" he said as he turned away from me, averting his eyes and avoiding making direct eye contact. He buried his head in his hands and slumped in the uncomfortable waiting room chair.

"Sir, Lieutenant Havoc is not dead, you saved him from bleeding to death, he'll live through this and find a way to make a life for himself. As far as Hughes is concerned... " I paused, at a loss for words, wracking my brain for something, anything that would ease his conscience.

"Everyone under my command is in danger. They are in danger because of me," he said gesturing wildly and wincing as his movements put pressure on his still healing wounds. "How can you find me blameless in all of this? You're risking your life by staying by my side."

"As callous as this may sound, they both knew the risks when they signed on, we all did," I said softly.

Roy stood up abruptly and began to pace the waiting room, and I followed his movements as he stalked from one end of the small room to the other. I could tell my commanding officer, no my friend, was restless from the forced rest, having no outlet for his frustration. He looked close to his breaking point. I hadn't seen him this distressed since Ishbal. I prayed that this wouldn't break him. Finally he sat back down in the stooped posture that I recognized as defeat.

He finally broke the awkward silence, his gaze focused on the floor, said, "Hawkeye, look at him, he's is good as dead and I killed him. He's so quiet and his eyes... there's no light in them. All he really wanted in life was to find a good woman, settle down and have a pack of kids... now that will never happen. Look at the prognosis- he can't return to active duty, the State is just going to throw him away and I don't see any way I can do anything about it"

"He wouldn't have followed you if he didn't want to, didn't believe in your cause, and did you ever consider that he knew that some day you'd make Amestris a safe place to have a family?"

He looked away from me and said, "What if all of this is for nothing? What if I fail? I've ended or ruined so many lives. I can't even bear to pay my respects to Gracia. Perhaps in the end I'm nothing but a spineless coward."

I stood up, turned to Roy and said, "I have complete confidence that you will not abandon Havoc and you have done plenty for Gracia and Elysia. They have guards round the clock. They are safe. We will find a way to help Havoc together, if he'll let us. Have faith in yourself, I do."

I left him in the waiting room. He needed time to think and I did as well. How would I fix two broken men?

When I returned to their hospital room, Havoc turned his head to greet me, appearing to be quite groggy from the pain medication, and gave a small smile. Then the answer came to me. One day at a time.


End file.
